"I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette." - George Michael Bluth

So I served a Heineken at work today at for some reason it just looked sooo good! I was like, I totally have to grab a sixer of that on my way home...

Well I stopped at the Sunoco over by the highway...you know, the one that also sells an assortment of pipes and that bullshit legal alternative to marijuana...funny story, they have a couple blown glass pipes shaped like elephants that they keep on the counter by the register...now the first time I saw them I totally thought of my friend who LOVES elephants, and I was all "that's so cute I should totally get that for her!" thinking that it was just some nice innocent artwork...because who expects the corner gas station to be selling bowls? not me, you usually only find those in places that smell like patchouli and hippie feet...so I'm looking at the elephant for like 5 minutes while I'm standing in line before I realize it's a bowl, and by that time it was my turn and the cashier gives me this look like he can't decide if I'm an underground smoker or an undercover cop...but anyway, back to the original story...

So I'm at Sunoco looking at the beer cooler and I don't see any Heineken...that's a normal beer places usually have, so I was way disappointed until I saw on the top shelf a 6 pack of Schlitz!...I had to buy it because it's kind of legendary and it would be a new cap for my collection...and even if it tastes like shit wtf, I'll drink just about anything anyway...after I pulled it out of the cooler I did actually see the Heineken on the bottom shelf, so I figured it was fate that brought me to the Schlitz instead...so I go to pay for it and this guy gets in line behind me with a double deuce of Bud Ice, a Dr. Pepper, and a 3 Musketeers bar...as creepers in gas stations are prone to do he starts commenting on my purchase, "a girl buying Schlitz that's new! I did a lot of damage with that stuff back in my younger days. That's a beer that'll put hair on your chest! Huh huh huh!"

Yeah, thanks for the commentary guy...and might I also mention that this particular guy did not look that old, maybe 40ish? I don't know whatever...but apparently he's a regular cause before he even hands me back my change the cashier is joking that the candy bar can't be for the guy, at which point it's revealed that the chocolate is for "his woman" and he'll "never understand the chocolate thing women have, but I did just learn about this Godiva shit, I can get down on that!"...uh what? yeah...

But back to the Schlitz...official ruling: not bad at all, nothing extreme or harsh in any sense, especially not in the way of things that 'put hair on your chest'...official ruling on the guy at the gas station: Pussy

Yeah, I think the common theme of my life is I'm weird...

So I've kinda laid off the blog for a bit because I was cranky about it for various reasons....I won't get into those, but the point is I'm back bitches!...

SO at work there's a good number of younger kids and high schoolers...well today the one bus boy who's a senior this year was all pumped up because he got his acceptance letter from Kent State...and I got to thinking about when I was applying for colleges...and I always knew I was pretty blase about the whole thing, but I guess it just really hit home today how much I didn't care...or at least how it just seemed like a given that I would go to whatever college I wanted and could afford somehow and that would be that...after I took the SATs and ACTs I was getting 5 or 6 mailers from colleges a day...it was insane...but the thing is, I can't even remember what made me apply to OU...I know I applied to NYU and got accepted, but then I realized that out of state tuition was astronomical, my parents really wanted me to stay in state, and skyscrapers and concrete in Cleveland gave me a terrible terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach (one of MANY things from my youth I can now recognize as what were probably panic attacks...I remember distinctly in 3rd grade losing my folder and it was, no joke, the END of the WORLD...bawling my eyes out because my folder would think I didn't care about it...yeah I know,right...and what would happen to that folder...what if someone threw it away while it was still good...what if someone drew on the horses it had on it...I would never do that, I took good care of my things...and Mrs Crisafulli and my bus driver standing around me asking, "Was it a special folder? Was something special in it?" because they couldn't understand why I was SO upset over this folder...and it was nothing, I was just freaking out because it felt like something bad was going to happen because that folder was mine and now it was suddenly gone...that was just one example...I couldn't go into the stuffed animal section of stores because I felt like those animals felt I was abandoning them, or leaving them to go to some kid who would drag them in the dirt and end up giving them away or destroying them...the same way a lot of people feel going into an animal shelter knowing any animal they don't adopt might be euthanized...that was the feeling I got looking at stuffed animals and I'd cry, not because I didn't get something I wanted, but because I felt those animals were being left to their demise....but anyway, away from the psychosis of my youth and back to college applications)

I applied to Bowling Green because I knew that's where K. Barta had gone...I applied to a place in Indiana called Anderson University because of Gillian Anderson...she didn't go there or anything but, I mean her name was Anderson and I was excited at the prospect of a big hoodie that said "Anderson"... I also applied to Ball State in Indiana because David Letterman went there...ball three of those accepted me too...and then I applied to OU...and for whatever reason one day I just decided to go to OU...I didn't go on one single college visit...I'd already told OU I would be attending before I visited my first time...

But I guess the point of all this is that the crazy thing about me is these big life decisions just happen to me...and now I'm thinking about going back to school...and what I think I want to do is that there's a low-residency MFA program at Bennington College in Vermont that I think would be really awesome...Bret Easton Ellis went to Bennington...he's basically my hero as far as writers go...and it's a solo thing most of the year and then for 2, 10 day periods you stay at Bennington...and honestly, with all the crazy that surrounds where I am in my life right now...as a waitress in a family owned restaurant, would there ever be any better circumstances for me to participate in a program like this?...is there a more flexible job that would allow time for both the independent work AND the time to travel...I don't think so...maybe this is why this all went down the way it did...

but what it all boils down to is I'm finally ready to apply to a college and worry, then, hopefully, celebrate when I get accepted...

Classy Moments in the Life of T. Moore: Moment #342

AT&T Internet Tech Guy: "Do you have your account number and trouble ticket number?"

T. Moore: "Yeah, they're right there on that paper."

AT&T Guy: "You mean this AA sign-in sheet?"

T. Moore: "Yeeaaah....right on the back of that. Don't lose it I have to show that to my probation officer."


CLASSY
End of Story.

Littering...Fun Times!

So I made an origami crane out of metallic gold paper and I dropped it off my bacony to see if it would float or fly at all...it somersaulted and kinda fluttered the whole way down but it didn't drift or anything...but anyway it landed in the grass right next to the sidewalk leading to the back door of the building and my new entertainment is seeing if anyone notices it and picks it up...best case scenario they notice it while I'm on the balcony secretly spying and the make a comment out loud and at a volume I can hear what they say...I think if I found a random orgami bird it might make my day by being a random little smile...or maybe they will think a little kid dropped it by mistake and they'll feel sad wondering if it was special to that kid and if so, they know it's missing and feel bad for being irresponsible and losing it...I don't know, maybe I'm the only one who would think of it like that...I remember once when I was like 8 or 9 I was at the mall with my grandma and my aunts and we were sitting in the food court and I started making cranes and star boxes and stuff out of the napkins because, pretty much same as now it's something I do to keep my hands and mind occupied when I get bored...but I digress, so anyway I was making all these things and off in my own little bubble as usual...and there was this Asian girl, teenager, probably in high school...sitting by herself with notebooks and stuff a few tables away...well she starts waving to me and once she gets my attention she rips a page of her notebook out and starts folding...well she made this little box/balloon cube thing that she blew into and it inflated...then she walks over and hands it to me, pointed at mine and said "Good Job!" smiles, and walks away... I held onto that for years before I finally lost track of it, the way I save things I wouldn't be surprised if I found it tucked away in some book or something ears from now...but that's something I still remember almost everytime I'm bored and start folding paper...and yeah, back to my gold crane...I've seen 4 people come into the building and not notice it...it's pretty shiny so probably tomorrow during the daylight...oh well, I'll keep you posted cause I'm sure you're dying for this drama to unfold!

This morning I was up really early...like 6...and I went out on m balcony and I saw a great blue heron flying...and a crow chasing and dive bombing him...end of story.

Wow...good job random dad...

So I'm currently at the new Dunkin Donuts by my apartment using their free wi-fi and this dad is here with his little girl...she's like super cute and has this curly blond hair...she's gotta be 5 or younger...well instead of making her stand in line with him he sits her up on this counter that they have along the windows...its pretty high up...over the girls head...My immediate thought is...this is a brilliant idea...well he's in line and is yelling across the place to her asking what kind of donut she wants and what she wants to drink...then he starts ordering and happens to order other donuts as well as the one for the girl...she starts flipping out right...cause "DADDY I DON'T WANT JELLY!!! I DON'T WANT JELLY!!!!" and tries to jump off the counter and bangs her head on one of the bar stools...so then she's screaming until she gets her donut...then he gives her two kinds of donuts and she's eating both of them at once...so now his phone rings and he answers and it's apparently his wife/mom...and he goes here say hi to mommy...little girl promptly tells mom she has hit her head and is now eating strawberry and chocolate donuts, hands the phone back to her dad and he's all "no everything's fine, everything's fine she just tripped it's a tiny bump...I only let her have a bite of my donut she doesn't have two of her own"...so he hangs up and says to the girl...next time just say "hi" to mommy ok?!"

New Project...

OK...so here's my new project...I'm going to merge my old livejournal with my blogger...then there will be years worth of entries in one place...it will either be super easy and awesome or drive me crazy...