"I was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette." - George Michael Bluth

So I served a Heineken at work today at for some reason it just looked sooo good! I was like, I totally have to grab a sixer of that on my way home...

Well I stopped at the Sunoco over by the highway...you know, the one that also sells an assortment of pipes and that bullshit legal alternative to marijuana...funny story, they have a couple blown glass pipes shaped like elephants that they keep on the counter by the register...now the first time I saw them I totally thought of my friend who LOVES elephants, and I was all "that's so cute I should totally get that for her!" thinking that it was just some nice innocent artwork...because who expects the corner gas station to be selling bowls? not me, you usually only find those in places that smell like patchouli and hippie feet...so I'm looking at the elephant for like 5 minutes while I'm standing in line before I realize it's a bowl, and by that time it was my turn and the cashier gives me this look like he can't decide if I'm an underground smoker or an undercover cop...but anyway, back to the original story...

So I'm at Sunoco looking at the beer cooler and I don't see any Heineken...that's a normal beer places usually have, so I was way disappointed until I saw on the top shelf a 6 pack of Schlitz!...I had to buy it because it's kind of legendary and it would be a new cap for my collection...and even if it tastes like shit wtf, I'll drink just about anything anyway...after I pulled it out of the cooler I did actually see the Heineken on the bottom shelf, so I figured it was fate that brought me to the Schlitz instead...so I go to pay for it and this guy gets in line behind me with a double deuce of Bud Ice, a Dr. Pepper, and a 3 Musketeers bar...as creepers in gas stations are prone to do he starts commenting on my purchase, "a girl buying Schlitz that's new! I did a lot of damage with that stuff back in my younger days. That's a beer that'll put hair on your chest! Huh huh huh!"

Yeah, thanks for the commentary guy...and might I also mention that this particular guy did not look that old, maybe 40ish? I don't know whatever...but apparently he's a regular cause before he even hands me back my change the cashier is joking that the candy bar can't be for the guy, at which point it's revealed that the chocolate is for "his woman" and he'll "never understand the chocolate thing women have, but I did just learn about this Godiva shit, I can get down on that!"...uh what? yeah...

But back to the Schlitz...official ruling: not bad at all, nothing extreme or harsh in any sense, especially not in the way of things that 'put hair on your chest'...official ruling on the guy at the gas station: Pussy